Susan Cain, Quiet (via obliteratedheart)
For you Jenn ;P
(via mitchyknowsbest)
um YES.
(Source: accountedfor)
I went for it.
Even though my heart was pounding and my body was shaking, I went for it.
The wisest person I know told me that I have nothing to lose.
And I realized that she was right.
Maybe something amazing will come out of this?
Much Like Falling - Flyleaf
“It feels so much like falling
Separated from the fear
Aware of my destination far away from here.”
Surely the righteous will never be shaken;
they will be remembered forever.
They will have no fear of bad news;
their hearts are steadfast, trusting in the LORD.
Their hearts are secure, they will have no fear;
in the end they will look in triumph on their foes.
Psalm 112:6-8
God is our refuge and strength,
A very present help in trouble.
Therefore we will not fear, though
the earth should change
And though the mountains slip into
the heart of the sea;
Though its waters roar and foam,
Though the mountains quake at its
swelling pride.
.
.
The opening stanza of Psalm 46, which was sung by the citizens of Jerusalem at the temple with tambourines. The stanza is “a confession of fearless trust in God though the creation itself may seem to be uncreated” (NASB study notes). In a world of unraveling chaos, He remains the constant. As disorder and turmoil abound, His immutable strength persists. He is my refuge; He is my strength. I will sing for joy because He has freed me from fear.
Here I am on the shore of my memories.
The ocean of pain has subsided to an ocean of calm.
You have pulled me out,
You have given me breath and life,
You have shown me how to overcome the waves of the past.
Here in Your arms I will stay
As You restore my spirit in the early morning,
Great is Your faithfulness throughout the night of my storm.
I can’t change the past.
In my mind, it’s so easy.
But in reality, it’s not.
The pain from the memories rushes in like an everlasting flood,
Threatening to drown me while I try to catch
one
more
breath.
I’m packing because I’m going to school tomorrow, and I just started reading through my old journals. It’s amazing to see how much God has changed my life over the years. I am not who I was 5 years ago or even one year ago. I am so thankful to Him for bringing me through so much and for drawing me closer to Him in the process. I’ve found some poems that I’ve forgotten about, and the next blog entry is not one of my best but it is a poem that I really like. It reminds me of a time when hope seemed completely drained from my life, but when I awoke the next morning, my Savior allowed me to breathe anew and experience the Light of His presence. He is the only One that I can truly depend on in this life. He is the only One that has brought me through every storm alive. Great is His faithfulness.
Home.
What does that even mean anymore?
I have no place to rest my head,
No place to feel secure,
No place to feel at peace.
Earnestly I long for whatever “home” is.
Where I can love and be loved in return,
Where I can live free from violation,
Where I can rest and breathe deep.
The space that I take up in this world is limited by time.
As soon as I get comfortable,
I must move on.
Where is the place that I can call my own?
Where is the place where I can just be
And nothing more?
Right now, the only place I know to go is Your loving arms.
The peace that I long for
And the security that I need
Can only be found in Your embrace.
And there I can rest eternally.
The space I occupy close to your heart is mine always.
Rocking me to sleep, our breathing synchronizes and becomes as one,
And I realize that this world is not my home.
Home is whenever I’m with You, Jesus,
Whenever I’m surrounded by the Light of Your presence.
My eyes are looking down into the valley of my soul.
The emek of my heart as deep as a large ceramic bowl.
These mountains reaching high to touch the clouds so pearly white.
Glowing golden brown reflecting gleaming unknown light.
Artificial is the valley deep within my heart.
I’ve dug it deep and stretched it wide thinking it’d be smart,
To keep those memories and those people on the mountain’s edge,
To keep them from the valley bottom only living near the ledge,
Of me.
.me
..me
…me
(And faintly they hear only echos of who I really am)
Grab me by the horns
And wrestle me to the ground.
I’m flailing and thrashing;
I’m twisting and writhing
Under the soft pressure of your hands.
I am a brute beast before you.
Senseless and ignorant,
Wide eyed and restless,
Never knowing what it’s like to be still.
Chaos and disorder
Ripple through my limbs
Like waves in a stormy sea.
I am agitated by Your presence.
Longing to break free from your grip,
I look to you with eyes of anger,
And am met by eyes filled with peace.
Like a snake that sheds his skin each year,
So too have these scales fallen from my eyes.
Now I can see that
You are not controlling.
You are not containing.
Rather, You are taming
The beast rising up in me.
May my anxious thoughts be known to You;
Search me!
And teach me.
I am called to peace.
May Your peace rule over me.
((Psalm 73:21-22, Acts 9:18, Psalm 139:23, Colossians 3:15))
